A letter to my daughter – after 7 years of Infertility.
Dear Sawyer,
I feel like this letter is something I’ve dreamed about writing to you my entire life. I’ve pictured what it would be like to hold you, to kiss you, to make memories with you for so long. Today is the last day until this dream becomes a reality.
It’s hard to grasp the concept that it’s really happening that you will be here so soon. That our family will be 3 people instead of just 2.
In the last 7 years of trying to bring you into this world I have learned so much. I begged and pleaded with God to let me have you, but I had to wait until it was the right time. Waiting wasn’t easy it was a long and painful journey.
Infertility taught me so many things. It taught me how to be patient and trust God and the Universes timing. It’s not about what I want right now. It’s about manifesting my dreams and trusting that everything will work out in the end regardless of the current circumstance. I trusted he would give me you, at some point I knew you would be mine I just didn’t know when.
It taught how to be a good mom even before I became one. My biggest goal in life is to be a good person. I strive every day to be better than I was yesterday. I want to teach you that. I want you to know that one of the most important things we can do in this life is to be an honest, kind, loving person to everyone we meet. To have a heart that is full of love for others.
I want you to know how much you are loved and adored. You are wanted and you will always be appreciated by your dad and I. We have waited so many years for you. All of the shots, the medications, the surgery, the fertility treatments, the endless count of doctor visits and tests, the millions of tears, the shattered pieces of our hearts it was ALL WORTH IT. Everything was worth it. I would do it all again with zero hesitation if it gives me you. You are so deeply loved. More than words can even say.
I will never take you for granted and I will always be there for you no matter what. I can’t promise you will always like me but I will do whatever is best for you in every situation we are faced with. I will fail time and time again, and I won’t be a perfect mom not even close. But I will learn along the way, we both will. I will never stop trying.
I will be your best friend, someone you can always talk to about anything without judgement. I want our relationship to be an open book with trust and communication.
You are the missing piece that my heart has been longing for, and I want you to realize that you are now the center of our world.
I will teach you how strong you are, you can reach any and every goal you set your mind to. You are capable of literally anything you want to succeed at. I never want you to doubt your self worth. You are worthy of great things in this life. Never settle for less than you deserve. And you deserve the world.
Please remember having a beautiful heart is far more important than having a beautiful face.
You are the answer to hundreds of prayers Sawyer girl. I have waited 31 years to meet you. I can not wait to hold you in my arms tomorrow. You are the reason I was put on this earth.
Love,
Your Mom
