A letter to the woman who is longing to be a mom on Mother’s Day.
You are not alone.
Mother’s Day can be an extremely painful day for women who are struggling with infertility. Not everyone understands this or even thinks about it. I do, because I was you. For 7 long years I was you. I know how you feel.
As Mother’s Day was celebrated by friends and family every year all around me it was almost unbearable to watch and be a part of. My mom died when I was little so Mother’s Day was already hard, and not being able to have a baby of my own made it so I didn’t even want to acknowledge the day. For so long no matter what I did infertility beat me over and over so Mother’s Day was just another reminder of that. I would have preferred forget the day all together.
It took me a long time to understand why I was given the hardship of infertility I questioned why God would cause me so much pain.
One of my callings in life is to share our infertility story with others. To share how common infertility is. To help the world understand that just because you have struggled with bringing a baby into this world doesn’t make you any less of a woman or any less worthy of happiness. It breaks my heart that it is still such a hush hush topic. I hate that. I hate that women are afraid to talk about it. 1 in 8 couples struggle with infertility. It is that common.
I will never stop sharing infertility awareness. This world needs more love and support.
If you don’t have it someone that you know does. Trust me they do. Even if you don’t know it.
Infertility took control over my life for so many years. It consumed me and was all I focused on for so long. I wanted to be more than this horrible disease. So once I started to trust the process and understand that there was a reason why I was going through everything I went through things got so much better. I put everything in Gods hands and understood that it wasn’t my timing. It was his.
I want you to know I really understand what you are feeling this week and how you will be feeling tomorrow. People would tell me all the time when I was in the middle of infertility to have hope and my time will come. That didn’t help the current pain I was going through or make my situation more bearable. So I know me telling you that right now won’t help. It won’t take away the pain. But I will say my heart is with you. My thoughts are with you. My prayers are with you. As tomorrow comes I want you to remember you are strong, you are worthy of joy, you can do hard things, and you were given this trial in life for a reason.
Find that reason and understand it. Maybe it’s to help those around you, maybe it’s to share a message to the world, maybe it’s to have more patience in life. I can’t answer why you are going through what you are going through. But I will say you are more than your disease. It doesn’t define you. It is just a part of your life, not your entire life.
Use tomorrow as a day to take care of yourself. You deserve it. After everything you have been through you deserve to be celebrated too. Take care of yourself… Treat yourself to the massage you have been dying to get, or that dessert you never get to eat. Tomorrow I will celebrate you and everything you have been through.
You are not forgotten on this day. I will never forget you although I am at a different time in my life I will always remember how difficult Mother’s Day can be.
Stay strong you can do hard things. You were given this life for a reason.
Or read the letter a wrote to my daughter the day before she was born you can see that HERE.